It's very sobering to think about some of the people I've known who have died in recent years.
These include an unrepentant, nasty, sick homosexual who died early, and who was steeped in porn and rough, unnatural "sex." Also, there is someone else who was very close to me who, as far as I know, died as a adulterous drunk. Another was a drug-addicted woman who cheated on her husband, abandoned her young daughter, and was involved in immoral practices till the day she died from an auto accident. I even knew someone in my church who quit believing and cursed Jesus and called him every wicked name in the book.
I've known quite a few unsavory characters.
Obviously I can't judge (i.e., condemn) these people, but from outward appearances, it would be reasonable for me to guess they might be in hell. I literally pray for them still and hope they're not sharing a room with demons, but it's hard not to consider the possibility.
It's sad. I knew them well, and in many ways I liked them. But they seemed incorrigible.
I can't help certain thoughts:
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I think about the state of hopelessness, despair, emptiness, and hatred they may be experiencing even now.
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I wonder if they were afraid as they approached Jesus for their personal judgment after death.
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I wonder if they remember me, if they hate me or in any way blame me for anything, if they are sad, if they are angry.
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Did God give them one last chance in their dying breath? If so, did they accept or reject -- and if they rejected, why?
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I wonder how miserable the pains of hell are, and if its inhabitants are driven mad knowing it will last forever.
These are awful thoughts. But they force me to remember that we can learn from evil people as well as holy people. In that way, we can draw inspiration from sinners and saints alike. No matter how bad others are, or how bad the culture around us is, our duty remains constant. We shouldn't allow anyone or anything to cause us to look back, to be distracted from rising up and loving God above all else. It's not an impossible mission. God gives us everything we need. He wants nothing more than to have us persevere heroically to the end.
We have to accept not only God's mercy, but understand his justice, too. In heaven, with a more comprehensive perspective, we won't be mourning the damned, because we will understand that everyone had an opportunity to choose wisely in this life. We will accept God's perfect justice. We would expect nothing less -- and we'll praise God for it.
Meanwhile, here below, knowing what's at stake, we want to do our best to save as many people as we can by loving others and proclaiming to them the good news of Jesus Christ.
Some will respond. But we have to face the hard fact that others will not, no matter what, because it's their choice -- just as the choice we make is ours.